NSFM2012 - Day 3
Featured snack: 7/11 brand Hot Dog flavored potato chips
Rating: 1,060 Holy cows!
Review: When I first saw this product at the 7-11 near my place of employment, I actually looked around the store in disbelief like, “Is anyone else seeing this right now?” I literally couldn’t believe it.
As well they should. I want you to know that I don’t throw around the phrase “Game Changer” a lot and even though I don’t believe snacking is a game, I have to think that if it was a game, it might be a game of baseball and, as we know, no undertaking of America’s favorite pastime is complete without America’s favorite sausage-based sandwich, not to mention that this imaginary “Game” has definitely been “Changed” by the introduction of this sausage-based sandwich-imitating snack. What?
Anyway, we’ve all heard about the amazing chemical feats of tongue-defying artificial flavoring pulled off by the famous “Flavor Factories” of New Jersey, thanks to Eric Schlosser’s indispensable account in “Fast Food Nation” and we’ve all heard about the stomach-turning grotesqueries of the modern mass-produced hot dog thanks to a lifetime of horror stories perpetrated by exactly the type of anti-American rumor mongers that populate this particular site of psuedo-journalism (and others like it). The question is: how could we have known that one day in 2012, one terrible institution devoted to the devolution of American cuisine would obsolesce the other?
Yeah, I said it. Hot dog flavored chips may very well destroy the hot dog industry. Here’s why:
The 3 flavors that make a hot dog undeniably delicious are, in order of importance, the same 3 flavors that meet your taste buds IN SEQUENCE (!) when you eat these miraculous 7-11 chips.
Those three flavors are, unequivocally (no matter how much Doug Sohn and his ilk want to add duck fat and whatever else to the list):
2) Nitratey/salty beefy fat juice taste
That’s it. That’s why me and everyone else craves a hot dog at least once a month. Now we can satiate that craving for a mere $.89 plus tax. I’ll leave it to others smarter than this snack blogger to decide whether this makes the world a better place or not but I can say with confidence that it makes the snacking world a lot more interesting and delicious.
Snack tour: Honorable mentions
Well, I’m back home from tour and I thought I would write a quick post to mention some of the great snacks I had the pleasure of enjoying all over the eastern side of the country on my trip.
In Brooklyn, I found a flavor of potato chip that I didn’t even know existed: Red Wine Vinegar. Unlike certain other brands that use vinegar flavoring, these chips by Boulder Canyon have the perfect touch of vinegary tang with a little bit of sweetness as well. It makes me want to try their other flavor varieties.
Of course, it’s easy to point out that “natural” chips from a fancy deli in Park Slope made from expensive ingredients are going to be better than a mass-marketed gas station snack. Lest you think me some sort of highfalutin snob, I will point out that one of the finest snacks of the whole trip was the most gas station-y of gas station snacks ever; you guessed it:
Here’s the thing about Corn Nuts: the Original flavor is really the best. I also tried the Nacho flavor and they simply weren’t as good. I think the flavoring is what makes them taste cheap and gross. The original are just a good, simple, natural snack. I know I’ve written about this before, but it bears repeating that you can always have a cheap, vegan, gluten-free snack when you are on the road that is satisfying and doesn’t have a bunch of gross preservatives. Take that Boulder Canyon!
Another honorable mention goes to a great regional brand that unfortunately hasn’t penetrated the Chicago market yet.
These are the best pickle flavored chips I’ve ever had. My band mates don’t even know I had these because I destroyed them on a bench right outside of the snack shop. Thanks to TSB reader Sarah for the suggestion here and thanks to everyone who kept up with The Snack Blog: tour edition. Keep reading and happy snacking.